By Oddly Robbie – One of One

When I was a young dad, I made a quiet vow: I would never box my daughters into roles someone else carved out of thin air and outdated beliefs.

Back then, in our little Mormon circle, it was common—almost expected—for little girls to say, “When I grow up, I want to be a mommy.” That line would trigger a chorus of “Awww!” and praise, like she’d just solved world hunger in a Sunday dress.

But not my daughter.

Nope. She’d flash a grin and declare with pride, “I want to be a paleontologist.”

People would blink. “What’s that?” they’d ask.

And she—at just five years old—would explain with giddy confidence.

She even “excavated” our backyard once, proudly unearthing a prehistoric dartboard. Yes, a dartboard. We kept it as evidence.

And maybe, just maybe, she was following in the muddy footsteps of Mary Anning—another girl who, at just twelve years old in 1811, changed the course of science forever. Mary discovered the first complete ichthyosaurus fossil on the cliffs of Lyme Regis. She had no formal education, no institutional welcome, and no seat at the scientific table. Yet, through sheer passion and persistence, she unearthed truths buried for millions of years. Barred from the societies she helped to inform, she died in poverty in 1847. But today, she’s celebrated as a pioneer of paleontology.

I like to think my daughter, shovel in hand, inherited some of that same bold curiosity. The kind that doesn’t ask for permission to belong in science—or anywhere else.

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The Echo of Roles and the Rumble of Resistance

Today, I feel a deep rumble—a cultural tug-of-war over power, identity, and gender roles. The military’s recent quiet purging of female leadership? (Feel free to fact-check that one.) It sent a chill down my spine. And my female friends? They feel it too. There’s fear, fatigue, and a fire rising.

But I tell them: “Watch history.”

It never forgets the ones who were underestimated. The pendulum always swings back—and when it does, it often lands in the hands of those once silenced. And they will have the last say.

In the meantime, I won’t just watch. I’ll stand. I’ll march. I’ll write. I’ll fight.

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Being a “Real Man” Never Made Me Feel More Like Me

Growing up gay in a world that defined masculinity like a checklist you never quite complete?

Yeah, I tried to check the boxes.

I did rough tuff stuff, braved disasters, earned medals, and did things some called heroic. But none of it ever made me feel like I’d “become” a real man.

It just made me tired hurt a lot.  

The truth? I’ve always been me.

A bit odd.

Very gay.

Fully alive.

And no performance of masculinity was ever going to change that.

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The Frontlines of Identity

Not long ago, transgender folks were banned from military service. That cruel chapter has thankfully been paused by a judge’s ruling. But let’s not pretend the fight is over.

Gender equality isn’t just a “women’s issue.” It’s about dismantling a rigid system that hurts everyone.

Men who cry.

Women who lead.

Nonbinary folks who shine.

And queer kids who just want to breathe without permission.

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Final Excavation

My daughter once found a dartboard and called it a fossil.

And maybe, in some poetic twist, she was right.

Some ideas are fossils now—gender roles included.

They had their time. But their bones don’t belong in our present.

So here’s to my daughter,

to Mary Anning,

to all the curious ones digging deeper,

refusing to be buried.

I’m Oddly Robbie.

One of one.

And I’ll keep digging.

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Want to chat more about gender, identity, or just share a virtual mate? Visit my digital twin anytime.

Stay odd. Stay curious. Stay kind.

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