When I moved to Spain, it wasn’t just about changing location—it was about changing approach. I wasn’t just handed a visa. I had to earn the right to be here.

I remember sitting in the consulate, watching as four people ahead of me were turned away. It wasn’t their paperwork. It was their attitude. You could see it—entitlement, rigidity, or a sense that things should bend for them. But here’s the truth: if I had said something like “I want to speak to the manager,” I would’ve been turned away too.

Because Spain, like many cultures, doesn’t just test your documents—it reads your spirit.

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🧭 I Travelled with the Military—But I Always Broke Off Alone

When I was deployed, I often shed the group. Not to be difficult—but because I was embarrassed by the way many acted. Loud. Disrespectful. Entitled. They didn’t care to learn the culture. But I did.

Often, I would quietly connect with someone—usually a boyfriend—who would teach me the real language, the heart of the culture. They became bridges, not trophies. From them, I learned what no training manual could ever teach: how to belong without demanding to.

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🌊 Why I’m Picky About Who I Invite to Spain

Now that I live here, I’m careful about who I bring into this space. Spain let me in. They vetted me—not just for finances or legal boxes, but to see if I could adapt. Respect is deeply woven into Spanish culture, especially here in Andalusia. People notice how you speak, how you wait, how you engage.

I won’t invite someone who could undo that with a single rude moment. I won’t have someone disrespect the people who have welcomed me in. That’s not how this works.

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🪴 We’re Not Looking for Other Americans

We didn’t come here to find more people like us—we came here to grow. We joined the local cultural center not to fill time, but to fill our understanding. We’re learning the language, the customs, the rhythms of daily life.

We want to connect with people who are planted here. Not just passing through. Not just importing their habits. These are our neighbors now.

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🌱 Adaptation Is the Real Citizenship

There will always be glitches. Systems break. Buses run late. Forms get lost. But the answer isn’t to get angry or try to force your old habits onto a new place. It’s to work with people, to learn the dance.

In the end, respect is the real residency requirement. And I intend to keep honoring the invitation I was given—to live here, not just in Spain, but with it.